Oh yeah! All right! Are you going to be in my dreams...

...tonight?

I've been working (with a little help from a friend) on my subconscious. It's a slow and sometimes painful process because I have to consciously try to remember to do it. I mainly need to adopt a more professional attitude (it's there in theory) and above all, stop procrastinating. Today however, is a bank holiday in the Isle of Man (Tynwald Day) which means I have everyone at home today, which in turn means - I have to spend the day slightly differently. No matter, I'll just treat it like another Sunday - that's what it feels like to me anyway.

I had a series of dreams:

I am in a house, not my own, and not my parents either, although they seem to have some kind of ownership over it. My mother is staying in the guest room however. There is food, breakfast food; grapefruits and coffee in particular. There is a cup of tea waiting for me, but I make a beeline for the coffee instead. It is a small white kitchen.

In another room, there are the children's two sleeping bags waiting to be packed. For some reason, I must make some alterations to one of them (the green one) and I set to work cutting sections of it. I get the cuts wrong and have to make more and more until all I have left is a handful of ribbons. I know I have made a mess of the sleeping bag but I continue. Eventually, I zip up the bag all around the outside and neatly pack it away.

What was all that about? Sounds to me like some kind of accidental destruction, which once realised, I carry on with regardless? There are a lot of contrary elements to this... It has been said this week that I am my own worst enemy.

I then pass a group of singers down on the beach. There is a lead singer and a "deputy" who takes control because the lead cannot be heard unless he holds his mic right up to his mouth. The director however, persists with the lead singer, forcing the mic on him...


I could do with a little persistence...

I am climbing the stairs of an old double decker bus, but they have come away from the walls and there is a large gap at the top which looks dangerous. I could make it all the way up but decide not to as it is unsafe and I get the feeling I shouldn't be there anyway.

Hmmm... sounds like I'm too afraid to take risks in order to develop? How depressing! This clearly implies I lack the nerve to go for it and succeed. I must work on that.

I continue the bus journey in any case, but with everyone else on the lower level. One of the passengers is an older lady who works for Manx Telecom. I ask her why my internet connection wont work and she tells me it's all to do with atmospherics.

I am now in Malta, behind a wall by the sea front. There are two sun loungers here. One is occupied by the daughter of a well known actress although they look exactly alike. She wears a yellow bikini, showing off a mostly slender body - but her abs need work (this seems important for some reason). I take the second sun lounger and wait for the waves to hurl themselves over the wall. From (dream) experience, I know that the ninth wave will be the biggest and will completely engulf us so we decide to move away... after the fourth.

Is this another risk avoidance? Is it a positive or a negative one?

We enter a large building which might be a hotel and attempt to go down to a certain floor in the lift.

It did have a name - the floor, but I can't remember it. Also, lifts crop up a lot in my dreams - but I have never found an explanation for it (symbolically) in any dream dictionary... I imagine it has a similar meaning to stairs?

The actress's daughter doesn't follow me she seems to already know that the lift is out of order. I come out and we take the stairs - down. I hear strange noises, music and voices. There is a sense of urgency in her and... I wake.

Jam Tomorrow - That's The Rule.

It seems I'm even more behind down the rabbit hole than I am up in the clouds on Bushy's page. No excuse really - unless you count Facebook and other time wasting activities.

Note to self: really must do better. Better - be-etter - baa-ett-er - baa-aaa.....

Tons of work to do. Yes it is work! How dare you suggest it's just playing about with writing! For such a "Nice little hobby" it does have it's frustrating moments. For one thing, no-one takes it seriously. You are expected to break off what you are doing in favour of something far more important, because you're not really doing anything. Well - oftentimes - if I'm being entirely honest - I haven't been doing any actual writing, because I've been doing other stuff. Mind you - I also get so overwhelmed by that other stuff that it can slip by the wayside too. What I think I'm trying to say is, procrastination has got the better of me (again). Some call it writers' block - but I know what I want to write (and edit - but that's a different matter altogether), I'm just putting it off.

So, even though I've been beating myself up for months (years?) about not achieving as much as I would want to, I'm going to say it all again:

Life is marching by - rapidly. You only get one chance - you know what you have to do!

Stop!

So what's a girl to do? I had a dream that I had to take O out of school early to see the dentist (I do actually have to take him out of school twice next week - one time being for a hospital appointment). We had to race to find the dentist as it had moved (and never mind the fact that I haven't been near him for the last four years- well he keeps threatening me with stuff...) Anyway, we can't find the dentist and we are on Victoria Street in Douglas. P is with us by now and he and O are suddenly on their bikes. N has also joined us (where did he spring from?) We are crossing the road via a zebra crossing (which doesn't really exist as it's a pelican in reality). We cross. N and I are over to the other side when a car with an old man at the wheel drives up the wrong way up this one way street. We scream at him to stop but he hits O and doesn't stop. I phone for an ambulance straight away and we tend to O at the side of the road. We think he's going to be ok but there's no ambulance. I phone again because I realise I've forgotten to tell the emergency services exactly where we are and an ambulance has been roaming Douglas all this time trying to find us apparently.

I wake up and O presents me with a letter from school telling us that year 6 are to start cycling proficiency next week...

The Clock Had Stopped

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Picture of Dreams

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Down, down, down...

... Would the fall never come to an end?

It's very easy to become despondent when things don't go to plan. Trick is to pick yourself up and start again...

On a different note, I went for a run last night - when I say run, it was more like a gentle jog... punctuated with some walking - OK - a lot of walking. I went with a friend and my oldest son (youngest was playing football). So, there was the football pitch and the athletic track side by side, then a track all the way around the outside of the two - this is the track we used. We managed four laps (O did five) and I did manage to keep running (jogging lol) for the whole of the last lap. It was a bit of a caucus race though, where we picked up and left off whenever we felt like it. So, I guess we all won and all should have had prizes!

Hunting Snarks...

I wonder if this is a good sign? (I'm sure it is!) I found myself dreaming about certain plot elements - well, when I say dreaming, I was actually waking up from the dream and trying desperately hard to cling on to the details. It's like a very delicate piece of paper with ideas and important notes written on it which you must memorise before the whole thing disintegrates into dust. I didn't need to think twice, if ever a sign was more obvious that I must crack on and do it, this was it.

I got the essence - which has spurred me on to finally work on a synopsis. (Hey - I'm not the only one who procrastinates over writing a synopsis - so don't be too hard on me!) It's a start and at least I can now see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. It might be handy at this point to find a tiny golden key on a three legged glass table, together with a bottle marked "Drink me."