Life, what is it but a dream?

That's all very well, but whilst I'm busy dreaming away here, life is in fact passing me by at an alarming rate!

This is an(other) attempt to put myself back on track. How many times have I been derailed now? I have had a very strange three months in which I have given myself some very good advice and then promptly ignored it. I feel that the past four years has been a bit of a waste somehow and yet... I refuse to accept that it has all been wasted. I keep telling myself that I can use the experience, write it all out of my system. To be honest though, I would rather leave the internet behind.

Normally, when you get sucked into a system, there comes a point when you get spat out again. With me though, I feel as though whatever (whoever?) has sucked me in refuses to spit me out. I began to fear the worst some time ago but didn't want to admit to myself, least of all to anyone else, that I might have a "problem." It was when I started to google "internet addiction" that I had to admit to this. I now have to take steps to undo bad internet habits: not logging on until I've written at least 500 words; not checking my emails for the 100th time before lunch; not logging on to forums or message boards; winding down any Facebook activity. Yep, all these are time wasters. They aid procrastination. They suck away any real productivity. This is where the last four years of my life have disappeared to and it's shocking!

I would like to whittle all internet stuff down to blogging but I don't know how realistic that would be. I mean, how can I withdraw from the internet and blog my progress? How ironic would that be? Of course, there's the trusty paper journal (and yes, I do keep a "real" paper journal); there's no real need to make it electronic. Hmmm... I could waste some more time wondering about this - or I could just shut up shop and move on.

Whose dream is it anyway?


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